Self destruction
by Gigglesnorter
Summary: My face flustered as I buried my face into his chest, breathing in his food-like scent. Looking up into ice-blue eyes, he inched closer to my reddened face.


**A/N: **My first NaruxSasu story. There will be many more in the near future, seeing as how I'm completely obsessed with this couple. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto.

Song: High school never ends by Bowling for soup**  


* * *

**

It all happened when Naruto invited me to Sakura's reunion party. She was an old friend from Elementary school, who just recently won the lottery, and had a load to spend it all on. I honestly didn't wanna go, but being as its Naruto. I couldn't say no.

The boy literally said, '_I'll drag you myself Sasuke, I really will. And you know I will._'

**What a rapist.**

And so here I am, getting dressed and ready for the big day.  
_Not really._

Naruto just implies its a huge day, considering were seeing all our old chums. Well..._I am_, Naruto's just tagging along so he can see what I looked like when I was 12, and going through puberty.

**Asshole**

Ah, yeah. If your wondering. Um, Naruto's my best friend...!

..._slash boyfriend_

Yes. I'm gay. I know, it's sexy right?

Heh, that's when Naruto would say.

'_My, my Sasuke, now that's my part_'

P-E-R-V-E-R-T.

Weird, how I'm acting like the girl  
..._which Naruto claims I AM_

"_Sasuke_, dear hurry up!" he screamed out half-halfheartedly.

I sighed, trying to tie my stupid tie. I could hear the clicking of very - _expensive_ - dress shoes I - _bought_ - a certain - _someone_. In embarrassment I tucked the loose tie into my collar, hiding the evidence of my non-manliness.

"Yes, Naruto..._dear_?" I loudly sighed.

His 6"1 self stood in-front of my 5"7 self. "Heh, your fucking tiny." he snickered.

What a douche.

I huffed out gags of spit, that overlapped my neck in..._disgusting-ness_.

"Oh, getting an erection 'cause of me Sasuke? Tsk, tsk, naughty, naughty. You always had that awkward fetish for saliva," warm blood rushed too my head, as my breathing tattered in reluctant gasps and hitches.

Kami, I _was_ getting an erection.  
But from what the fuck what?

"...Naruto...Are you--where's your fucking shirt?!" I squeaked out in embarrassment. He stared down at his - _well toned, 6 pack_ - looking up with wiggling eyebrows.

_Fucking_, tease

"Whatcha staring at Sasu? Hmm, see anything you like? Hmm, _Sasu_?" he sexily said. I coughed awkwardly into my hand, hiding my flustered face. I stuck my hand out, shooing him away.

I'm so scrawny compared to him.

"Heh, your all skin and bones. My poor Sasu, an anorexic 17 year old boy, aren't I feeding you enough," he mentioned, while poking my flat (..._un-unexpectedly curved_) stomach. I smacked his hand away, while buttoning up my shirt.

"Feeding me enough? You're a fucking pig, you lunatic! We buy Micki D's and you eat both yours and _mine_ double Big mac, plus the extra large fries, _plus_ the additional 20 piece chicken nuggets..." I looked away.

"...and I only get the scraps...which is the soda...because you don't _like_ coca cola." I half-muttered under my breathe.

"Sasuke, you know Coke makes me gassy, remember that one time we were...having an_ intimate moment_ and I just randomly...farted?" I froze. Kami!

"Naruto! That was disgusting!" I shouted. He smiled.

"You know Sasu, I wonder..." he drifted on.

I raised a bleak eyebrow,"...wonder what?"

"I wonder if I'm really gay."

"..."

"..."

"What?"

"_What?_"

"...Naruto if you're breaking up with me...I'm gonna set your penis on fire."

"...you already did that, and now I only have one testicle."

_It looks like 2 anyways...it's so damn huge, it's creepy._

"... I'll set it on fire again and feed it to Kiba's mutt."

"Sadist, sadist, sadist."

"...freak."

"Can I get to my point?"

"Fine!" I girlishly shrieked while flailing my arms in the air.

"...I meant I question whether I'm gay because,-"

"...hn?"

"Because you look like a fucking girl!"

"What -...NO I don't!"

"Les...bian?"

"What?!"

"Heh, dyke"

"Fag."

Gasp,"_How dare you_!"

"No Naruto, how dare _you_!"

"..."

"You. Called. Me. A. Fucking. _Girl._.."

"...That's because you look like one."

I looked down at myself, the pale smooth skin sticking to my bones, so brittle and thin. My ribs nearly popping out, the curve of my waist suspiciously too small for a male.

I stared my hands, a fresh manicure, my nails hard and smooth, curvy and elegant, same as my hand. It was _very-girl-ish_.

_I have girly fingers._

I spun around, staring at my highly lifted petite ass, that was being supported by the black skinnies and studded black belt.

My hips were narrow, but my legs were slim. I had no body hair, _seriously_. Naruto says it's because I haven't matured yet. Dick. Hence the nickname.

I looked at the mirror, studying my _beautiful_ face. I had high cheeks bones that made my feminine feature sticks out, my face was pretty small compared too most guys.

My cheeks were sucked in, and they had a natural coat of blush on them, (..._plus that I blush like a mad fool_).

My eyebrows were thin and curved around my coal colored eyes, that were chinky and wide. My eyelashes were naturally curled...and_ long_.

I fingered my black locks, how my long bangs covered most of my forehead and how it spiked at the back of my head. Naruto's nickname, _Chicken-ass_. Did you know Naruto thinks I'm gonna mysteriously grow boobs one day?

"You're like a flat-chested girl."

"And your a man-whore, but you don't see me complaining."

I stuffed a rice ball into my mouth, before grabbing my converse and car keys. I stopped mid-way, admiring Naruto's physique once more.

My eyes melted to goo, while my skin burned. His sun-kissed hair was sticking up, and hanging loosely in his sapphire blue eyes.

His orange-tannish skin, his muscular cheek bones were 3 scratch like scars are, one on each side; birthmark.

He torso was muscly but not too muscly like those steroid-freaks, it was nice abs. _Which were mine_. He always wore orange- holy shit it was annoying at times.

I mean, I like my blue and black and all but...**orange** underwear? Not right.

"Awe, look at my little emo, I could just eat you up!" I felt strong hand lifting me up from my waist, and swinging me through the air. I'm not a friggin' teddy bear, freak!

"Naruto, put me down!"

"Not until you give me a kiss."

"...I refuse,"

"Awe, why?"

"Because your a dog!"

"_Your_ sexy dog..._woof_."

My face flustered as I buried my face into his chest, breathing in his food-like scent. Looking up into ice-blue eyes, he inches closer to my reddened face.

My face hitching as our noses brushed, he tipped my face up going closer, each second. In cue, I looked away and scrambled out of his hands.

I was gasping for air, as I massaged my flushing cheeks. Warm beads of sweat pouring down my face, as I wiped it away quickly.

I could feel my ears go red, as my toes wrinkled. Breathing in and out, I turned around, and coughed awkwardly in my hand.

_He seemed as dazed as...him._

"Sasu-,"

"Naruto... don't _ever_ do that again."

He looked down at his twiddling fingers, and scratched the back of his neck. I squeezed the keys in my hand, feeling the hand-sweat leak unto them. I heard him clear his throat, "We should go."

I looked up, nodding my head and opened the door for him. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked out the door.

I turned back and switched off the lights too our dorm, and closed the door behind us. We walked down the 13 floors, until we reached the parking lot were I beeped my black Jaguar.

I opened the car door, sliding into the drivers seat as Naruto slid into the passengers seat. I injected the key into the car and started it up.

I spun the wheel and got out of the parking lot. After 5 minutes of driving we entered the highway. My stomach was doing cart-wheels as my fingers were tapping nervously against the steering wheel.

"Sasuke-," he started.

I flinched, "Mm?"

"I..." he trailed off, biting his index finger.

"Yes?" I squeaked out a little to high.

"I'm sorry." he sighed out.

I sunk in my seat, as I stared ahead of me. Focusing on the cars in front of me, and the lights of the back lights.

I could feel the corners of my eyes turning black, as I started seeing stars. My breathes were becoming hitched, as my throat started clogging.

"I-Its a-alright," I muttered half choking.

I wiped sweat from my forehead as my breathing started turning into choking gasps. I clutched the wheel harder, fingering the rubbery material.

My vision blurring as I felt hot tears seeping down my cheeks, I tried blinking them away, but they just kept coming.

I could feel the blood rushing to my head, as I felt dizzy-er and dizzy-er. I remember letting go of the wheel, and hearing a faint shriek of Naruto.

Before I passed out, I remembered grabbing Naruto's shirt and bringing him closer to me, " I-Its okay...I-It's fine...I-I'm sorry...its o-okay...okay...okay..."

**Everything went blank.**

* * *

"Bye guys, see you tomorrow." I half muttered while walking out the door. Ichiro, my co-worker called from behind me jumping up and down, exposing her _overly_ gifted chest. It was _really_ distracting.

"Arigato Uchiha-San," she bowed while smiling and returning back into the kitchen of our workplace.

I worked at the nearest Ramen shop (...which Naruto absolutely _adores_), it was already 12 O'clock at night.

I had lent Naruto my car so that he could go visit his Uncle, so it was a first in years that I've walked from work.

It was cold and being the dumb-ass I am, I wore a black mesh shirt with black low cut shorts. _Naruto insisted I wear a sweater_.

I disagreed.

..._what an idiot move_

I walked over towards the very empty bus shelter. I was fidgeting with my gum pack, waiting for the 161 bus.

My palms were sweaty, my eyes wide and anxious, I bit my lip nervously. I was fucking paranoid!

"Hey bro, gotta light?"

I almost shit my fucking pants. I turned around to see a typical-thugged-out wangster with a cigarette stick hanging out of his mouth.

I sighed and dug into my pocket, "Yeah...hold on." I grabbed the lighter, pulling it out of my pocket. Looking up..._he punched me across the face_.

I stumbled back, my hands covering my bleeding nose as I looked up to see him coming closer.

My heart bested faster as I ran towards and alley. What and idiot thing to do! He grabbed by the shoulders, roughly slamming me against the wall.

He punched my jaw, making me fall to the ground. I spit out blood as he kicked me in the ribs repeatedly.

The pain was unbearable, and the taste was gagging. I continued gagging and vomiting blood, as the abuser continued beating me down.

Finally he jabbed his pointy fingers into my chest, pulled me up against a wall. Punched me one last time, and bent down to whisper in my ear.

"...not let's have some _real_ fun."

My eyes widened as I tried to scream. He wrapped a cloud around my mouth, before hitting me on the head a couple of times.

He grinned evilly in the dark, and zippered down his pants. I screamed and struggled more against his grip, as he tore off my shirt.

My life shattered in those few minutes.

* * *

"H-how is he d-doctor?" I heard a familiar voice mumble.

_Naruto?_

"Um, he seems to have suffered from 3 cracked ribs, a bruised jaw, a swollen eye, bruised hands and legs,several head concussions. He got 12 stitches to the open cut on his head, and 6 stitches to his um...down _there_." a strangers voice said.

My stomach clenched in fear.  
What in the hell happened?

"He...what-...what happened to him?" I heard Naruto sob out.

"Um, he assume he was beaten, very badly. And then the abuser proceeded to um, rape him repeatedly. He then beat him up some more, before leaving him naked and half-dead on the side walk. One of the pedestrians walking by saw him and immediately called 911." the doctor paused.

"...I see."

"I'll come back in a few minutes." the doctor, before leaving.

My heart clenched in fear, as my chest felt tight. My eyes were squeezed tight, as tears threatened to fall. "...Sasuke? Are you awake?" my eye fluttered open to meet beautiful blue ones. I couldn't help but whimper.

"...h-hi Naruto."

My voice sounded to raspy.

"How...are you?" he mumbled.

I smiled sourly, "Been...b-better."

Naruto frowned.

"I..." he paused staring at nothing. "I'm-," a tear rolled down his cheek.

His body shook violently, "I'm so sorry..." he finally whispered, more tears flowing out. I felt my chest tighten, as I reached a hand towards him, but paused and withdraw-ed my hand.

_I..I-I can't t-touch him..._

He looked up once more, and broke down crying. "I'm so, so sorry..."

He sobbed himself all night.  
I hadn't comforted him of any sort.  
Just stared at him, and told him to go away in the morning.

* * *

I sniffed very strong alcohol, and wiped my nose on my sleeve. "What the he..." my cold black ones met lowered blue ones. My eyes softened.

"Hey idiot..." I mumbled, patting his head. He closed him eyes momentarily, breathing in and out slowly. He abruptly snapped his eyes opened, and grabbed my hand.

"Are you okay?" he brought my hand to his lips, caressing it slowly with them before placing gentle kisses on it. I stared at the wet marks appearing on my dry pale skin, and nodded slowly.

"A bit...drowsy." I said, rubbing my left eye. Naruto stared at me for a second, before rubbing his cheek with my hand. I stared at him for a moment too long, before cupping his cheeks between my fingers.

"I'm...sorry." I said, before pressing my forehead to his.

_Thump, thump, thump._

His heartbeat was nice.

"What?" he mentioned back.

I blinked slowly, not letting go of his head. "I said...I'm sorry."

I felt his forehead crinkle, "For what?"

I closed my eyes tight, "For being phobophobiac freak!" I screamed. I let go of his head, and hugged myself, rocking slightly back and forth. He took a step forehead, I took a step back.

Naruto stared at me for a few minutes, "Sasuk-," I brought my hand up to shut him up. He sighed and stared intensively at me. I stared at the ground, and bit my lip nervously.

"It's been 2 fucking years since that day, and I'm still obsessing over my phobia. I can't even touch my own fucking _boyfriend_ without fucking freaking out!" I grabbed my neck and attempted to strangle myself.

Naruto stepped closer, "It's okay Sasuke..."

I pushed him away. "No it's not fucking _okay_!"

He paused and bit his lip, "I..."

He needed to leave.

"Leave me alone."

He hesitated.

"Sasuke..."

"GO AWAY BAKA" I screamed.

I blinked an eye open to see Naruto's blue eyes watering with tears. He sniffed and walked past me. I didn't even run after him. I couldn't.

"See you at the party Sasuke." he mumbled.

I froze, "You weren't invited."

He shook his head, "Sakura said you and_ me_."

"There isn't an _us_ anymore, Naruto."

"I was referring to myself as one person, Uchiha."

And then he walked away.

* * *

I finally reached Sakura's house that was blasting with techno songs, and upbeat songs. I poked the door open, and Sakura greeted me with a peck on the cheek and offered me inside.

"Sasuke! Its been forever! I can just remember when we were 8 and I still had that silly little crush on you!" she noted.

I paused, "Little? You call drugging the chocolates you gave me for Valentine's day, and then after passing out and waking in your room half naked, little?"

She blushed and shoo-ed her hands, "Shut up! I was eight!"

"You were psycho."

"Whatever, how you been?"

"Aa...okay."

She nodded, "Good, good. How's Naruto been? I saw him a little earlier, he was looking really upset. Didn't even say hi." she frowned.

I stiffened and stared at my feet, "We broke up."

She covered her mouth, "What? Teme! You guys were the _ultimate_ yaoi couple! Hinata and Ten-ten were looking forward the funny sex stories! Kami, what happened?"

I shrugged, "We have our differences."

"So?"

I glared at her, "So it didn't work out."

She flailed her arms out, "Blah to you Sasuke! Every relationship has differences!"

"Were complete opposites."

"Exactly. He _completes_ you."

I scratched my head, "Whatever, Sakura."

She huffed and punched my shoulder. "I'll beat you up later, I want you to meet someone!"

She tugged on my sleeve, and guided me too her living room where Shino, Gaara and Ino were playing rock band. Sitting on the couch was a red-headed girl, with bright red eyes.

She was....kind _of_ hot.

She looked up at me and smirked. My stomach knotted as I felt a lump go in my throat. Sakura brought me too her and introduced us.

"This is the heartthrob I was talking about Karin. Sasuke meet Karin." I stared at Karin and smirked.

"Hn, hi."

She blushed, "Hi."

And so we started talking.

But I didn't notice the blonde blur staring from behind us. Nor did I notice when I had too many sake bottles to drink, and followed Karin into a nearby bedroom that the blonde blur watched us the whole time.

* * *

Karin tore my shirt off, while sucking kisses on my neck and face. I was laying down on the bed, confused as too where I was and why I kept seeing yellow blurs. She was already fastening my pants off.

_Wait-_

"No...stop." I murmured a bit dazed.

She looked up, and smiled maliciously. I shook my head back and forth, and pushed her off, and zipped my pants back up.

"Get...away from me." I slurred, while opening the door and sliding out into the party, where loud techno-tic songs were playing, and sweaty drunk teenagers were grinding up against each other.

I looked around, looking for anyone I know or could maybe recognize

_Naruto's not here._

I frowned.

_Naruto..._

I missed him, so much. I felt stupid for yelling at him, for breaking up with him for something so stupid. It wasn't his fault I was raped. It wasn't his fault I had a terrible phobia of being kissed by people.

But it wasn't his fault, dammit!

I towards Sakura's empty balcony, dragging my feet along the way. The cold winter air was hitting against my pale skin. I sucked in air while rubbing my hands together. I leaned against the railing and looked down at the city.

_How pretty._

I closed my eyes.

**But not as nice as you.**

I opened them slowly and looked down again. Admiring the bright lights and chirping people. And seeing as how it's winter, all the couples were probably walking hand in hand in a icy park or hugging each other to stay warm.

I wouldn't get that anymore.

_Fuck._

He hates me. He hates me. He _**hates**_ me!

And I hated myself too.

I lost the only person who'd make _me_ go gaga for them. Kami, what the fuck was wrong with me! I'm Sasuke Uchiha, I shouldn't be talking like this!

But...

It's true ain't it?

_Hai._

I groaned.

_I should just kill myself._

I paused, and blinked a few times. I sighed and took a bottle of sake from my jacket, and chugged it down seeing as how it didn't matter anymore. Because there was no one there to scowl at me for drinking to much.

Or drink so much that my liver will fail and then I'll die, leaving someone to mourn over my corpse. No, no, no. That didn't matter anymore.

Because I fucked it up. I fucked up a great relationship over my own emotional rampages. I tipped the bottle once more and threw it on the ground.

I _should_ do it.

I sighed, and climbed onto the railing, feeling a little woozy from the sake. I looked down as I wobbled on the metal bar. My vision was blurred, and the ground seemed so far away.

_Such a long drop._

I shook my head and sighed, breathing condensation into the air. The foggy-ness of the air, and bitter cold smell wrinkling your nose a frozen red. Burr. I chuckled slowly, wondering who would miss me.

Maybe Sakura and Ino. But they'd get over it, seeing as how there with Lee and Chouji. What about Hinata and Tenten? No, Kiba and Neji.

Shino wouldn't miss me. Sai would probably try to act sad. What about Temari, Kankuro, Gaara and Shikamaru? No...they used to bully me in school.

Eh, who cares.

My parents would mourn for a while and then focus on Itachi taking over the buisness. And too think I would be depressed for that!

Nahh, it was stupid anyways. I never liked life that much anyways, there was nothing ever too live for.

Except until Naruto.

_But he's gone._

I sighed again, as I stretched my arm forward into diving pose. I looked down once more, admiring the beauty of Konoha, before shuffling my feet and getting ready to jump, well at least until...

"...Sasuke?" someone whispered softly.

I paused and looked back, too see a blonde headed moron I loved so dearly. I smiled slowly still standing on the railing, ready to jump at any given moment. Naruto sniffled.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

I tilted my head, "What does it look like?"

He winced, "Why would you try kill-,"

I interrupted him, "I thought you went home."

He stopped and stared at me, "No...how could I...how could I resist a party like this?"

The tips of my mouth shifted upwards, "True. Sakura always threw a good party."

There was a awkward pause.

"So I see you have a new girlfriend. Umm, the redhead?" he mentioned.

I sniffed, "Shes not my girlfriend."

"Okay sorry. Night one stand-,"

"Shut up!" I screamed.

He froze and blinked several times before scratching his head. "Right...not my place to judge. I just...I just find it confusing as too see how you already hooked up with someone right after you left a 3 year relationship in less then 2 hours."

I frowned, "I..."

He shrugged, "I guess it's best. Were completely different. You could get any girl and boy anyways."

I looked up, "Naruto..."

He smiled, "No, no. It's true Sasuke. Your a hot guy. Every girl in Konoha loves you. Your the heartthrob, remember? I still remember when girls threatened to kill me when we first started dating." he chuckled.

"Your stalker club. They had lovely cut outs of you. Many collages, actually. I guess they deserved you more then I did." he stared at the ground sadly.

My chest tightened, "Dont..." but I could finish.

He smiled again and looked up with small tears straying down his tanned cheeks, "But I loved you. I guess it wasn't enough. Those girls could probably give you more happiness then I could. I...I'm sorry! Look at me here!" he sniffed and wiped his eyes.

I looked at the floor. I heard him sigh and start walking away. I squeezed my eyes tight and smiled wig my own tears falling down my own eyes for the happiness.

_He loves me._

"I love you too..." I whispered softly.

Naruto froze, and turned around slowly. His sapphire eyes wide with wetness on them. His lips quivering and parted.

"W-what?" he croaked.

I smiled and took a step forward.

"I..." I couldn't finished my sentence.

Because I slipped off the railing.

And snapped my neck.

_I love you too._

* * *

**The end.** -sigh- My first one, and I fucking _kill_ him.


End file.
